Daily post

Keep getting a shooting pain in my head,

Jools says hearing voices is a sign of intelligence.
I dont think so

Just another poem

Trust is all you need

When your here all alone

I have been so ill over you for these years

Been wondering

Leap TV for Autistic Children

My little brother is autistic. He is 13 years old. He plays with Leap Tv and it is really good game for him. I recommend it for autistic children. We a bought a bundle last Christmas and it was really good.

I especially recommend Dora the Explorer and the Toy story/Monster Inc/Finding Nemo.

The dance games are not too good, as the lighting in the room is not very good.

Hey its me here,

talking to the refrigerator again,

time passes like bleak mess of sunshine.
thoughtless hours of contributions

Psychosis story a bit of a ramble.

FREEDOM
The day NM passed away I watched the news as it broke. NM was a world wide figure a role model fighting for freedom. I had lady birds in my room and I guess they were doing the same, I took them into my house as guests as most will kill them off. The bugs could stay in my house for as long as need be. I stepped outside to look at the stars that day before I has screamed at the boys for taking the bricks and enjoying themselves too much. I had picked up a CD which said GHOSTs and presumed my brother had been taken over by some cult so I shouted outside. Wallace and Gromit wrong trousers was also giving me messages about wearing the wrong trousers. I always find it hard to look for the right trousers to wear. Once on a journey to Canterbury I didn't look back. I took a glance back and thought the strictly come dancing crew were there. I took £100 out of the cash machines as I thought that's how I get on the crew guess I was tricked by Mr Mahogany hes a big business man always has his mysterious ways even if he isn't actually there. I was looking for black trousers as I had put the wrong pair on that day, I had an important meeting my Mr Fellowship. He always wore fleeces, Soil on his fingers showed signs of hardworking hours spent outdoors. Once entering the shop she tried them on the trousers that is. they were good fitted okay even if a bit loose round the waist. The woman upstairs asked if I wanted leopard print tights of course not. I quite like Katy Perry but leopard print tights wasn't quite what I was searching for so I kindly declined. That's the time I bought my Viyella trousers. I had went into a geography shop but he was a monk like bold and slim but he didn't seem that welcoming his crowd never do. I thought of him like a little troll.

The builders outside had Katy Perry on full blast ROAR like an independent women, After leaving I went into the opticians but I guess they didn't know that islamically eye surgery is Haram but just phoning them was fine. The man in the shop wore glasses and what looked like the manager was a women behind him, gave me a card. I enjoyed going in there Canterbury shops always have that sleek look about them.

I found myself at chesterfield and swalecliffe once, trying to get to a 12 o clock meeting with mental health department at uni but found myself at C +S.
I took the risk I guess and had my ticket only to Canterbury. Whistable had a nice beach and that's where I should have stopped I did drop by for a little and glad that I did. On C + S I crossed the the bridge the weather that day was very windy high gale forces. but I wasn't much afraid I felt a sigh of relief on top of that bridge where I felt free. But the speakers told me they were watching me so I crossed the platform and took the taxi back to Canterbury. I am more a local person and shouldn't have asked for a lift from the man at the car wash. they were moving there HQ to Canterbury. While figuring out my bearings I am proud to say I took a glimpse at what looked like the queen who nodded politely at me. The air was rushing. There was black crow marking what worked likes as if to say don't go to McDonald's hahaha.

I did end up in Canterbury through the taxi who I thought what a strange man, a paedophile, and he was out to get me. the cars were following him in pursuit. I imagined this all in my head of course. I gave the man extra money when I got to the glass building, its the money my dad had given me that morning.

When I headed to campus I saw what looked like lookalikes of people - which I thought were lookalikes and bbc news crew there. I was very poorly at this stage but still wanted to work on my project with the guys doing hydraulic fracturing. I gave the CD back to my tutor but laughed so much for no apparent reason.

The Depression Beast had got to much to me that day, I cried and cried and cried.

Cardiff trip

I had a wonderful time in Cardiff, eating good food, and drinking good drinks.

The first day we got to see the town and do a bit of shopping.

We played tree top mini golf which was hilarious.


Had my first halal nandos good.

Where did you go?

Where did you go?
I am sorry I had to run
You should have stayed a little longer
I was scared of the voices.
Two lovers poised

Praying I will you again,
My faith and dedication lost in this journey.

Now hear a lifetime of rustlings
Twisting and turning thinking it will be the day
I will see you again

Random poem

Random Poem

Frog birds and
Manganese pie

Fish heated
Only one apply

Quick flit man
A Beast

Forest munchies
Wish lies teeth

Knitting hats to fight my depression

Inside out hat

Baby hat

I have started a new hobby which is knitting. I learn through youtube videos. I have been able to knit two hats, one small, one large. I knitted them on the loom. The hobby is great for my depression as it gives me patience and a feeling of being in the present moment which is key in battling my ongoing sadness. I will be knitting some more bits and pieces and posting them on here.

Graduation

I graduated this year. Friday  29th January was my ceremony. My little brother got to go to the ceremony. I faced much hardship after taking a year off because of illness. I managed to pass uni with a 2.1 degree. I am very happy about this.

Here is a photo with my little brother.

Urban Chocolatier

I went to London last week and visited Urban Chocolatier with my family. Was a really enjoyable day out.

Oare Gunpowder works country park.

I went to Oare Gunpowder country park yesterday. It was a short walk so we walked round it 4 times. There was a beautiful view. It was good to be out and about with friends enjoying the sunny day.

Thorpe Park trip

I went to thorpe park on the 15th June. It was a very terrifying day. We went on Swarm, Tidal Wave, Nemesis Inferno and also I'm a celeb. I would recommend others to go also.

Father's Day

Today's post is dedicated to my father. Love him so much. He is an inspirational person. Helping me to get my dream. He keeps me on the straight and narrow. He is the best dad ever. I am truly blessed to have him.

Don't need saving

I dont need saving

You came and ruined my life

Now I cant stop thinking about that time

OF the start

I am in madness

How to make Oreo Milkshake

We made oreo milkshakes for Iftar. How did we make it? It is really simple. 

All you do is blend 3 oreo biscuits, 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream, and milk together. Pour it into a glass and put whipped cream on top, and put oreo biscuit on top. Done :) Easy. It cost around £5 ! 

I got the idea from Pizza hut who are doing Oreo Milkshakes at the moment. I have had 2 of them since they brought them out. 

Much Love and Peace

Shaz

Margate Turner Contemporary Art Gallery

I visited the Turner Contemporary Art Gallery last Wednesday. The exhibition was about circles and spheres. I really enjoyed looking at all the interesting pieces of artwork. There was a floating ball which was really good, and also a man who sold snowballs. There was even a piece by Leonardo da vinci whos work was marked by the queens stamp! I really recommend attending this exhibition.
In our lunch hour we had a stroll around the beach and I got to know my friends a little better.

We got to do our own pieces of artwork. This is mine below.

Much Love and Peace , 

Shaz

Nothing to write about

What shall I write about I

dont have a clue . I just did a quick search and found something on tree dreams website. Thought I would share the quote written by Philip Larkin

Ramadan

Ramadan blog

Ramadan is when Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. No we are not allowed to eat or drink water. Ramadan teaches restraint and also makes you think of the very poor who have very little to eat. 

This year Ramadan started on Monday. I was born on 1st Ramadan on a Monday. 

Today I just want to survive

Today I am just going to survive,

The irritable moments flicker into madness,

I saw you black cat, slashing away.

Unkind remarks, hasten into the bleak wondrousness,

Today I am just going to survive.

The creepiness of tomorrow which is bound to arrive

Bright sparks seen in dew course windows.

Today I am just going survive

Green Ambassador

Being a Green Ambassador means to help advise the neighbourhood on energy and water conservation. I have been to a meeting and have met other Green Ambassadors who help Amicus Horizon residents.

June 1st

My nanny not well today, so I pray for her.

Today I visited Brogdale farm, it was a good visit I saw lots of varieties of Jam at the store. Also I saw some orchards.

I also visited Abbey Physic Garden, some friendly people I have met.

I plan to make my own community garden in my home town. Watch this space! :)

Eco Walk at Milton Creek Country Park

I went on an eco walk with some of the people from Skillnet group an organisation who helps people with learning difficulties.

Bank Holiday nature walk

Today I went to Berengrave Local Nature Reserve with my family.
This is a lovely walk in Rainham. I also saw horses and geese at a local farm. We bought home some chickens.

Can not wait for Ramadan

What is Ramadan? Ramadan is a month of fasting from sunrise to sunset. It teaches discipline and be mindful of the poor. I love how the Muslim community come together. Fasting really puts into perspective the things that really matter.

Malta

I would recommend going to Malta. I went during my second year of my Geography course. It's such a beautiful place. You can visit the whole of the island in just a day. In the future I would love to go to Italy, Japan and Canada. :)

This was the plane food.

Red

I feel like killing my self into tiny minute pieces

Chunks of it ripped into my soul

blood, red and angry

they are watching, they are watching maybe I should be outside instead of indoors

yes outside and wild

More artwork.

Art therapy really helps with stress relief.

Art work

This image has a tv aerial, which is coming out of seaweed. I like drawing seaweed as I once drew one for my GCSEs and it was highly liked. Seaweed has been part of my diet lately because it helps lose weight and it certainly works. on the right you can see a deformed heart, such like mine. It has the eyes of a fly which is gross. You can also see two pebbles. Its basically a drawing of whatever you want it to be. Comment below to tell me if, you enjoy this drawing or your interpretation of it.  

Poem by me

Song and poems

Listening to mindfulness

Do you not see me?

Do you think its easy

I know my battles are not the same

I know I did not go through the same road

But cant you see

Its like an ocean crashing

Sometimes its just like lightning 

It is what it takes to be someone

You want to forget those moments

And they keeping making new ways to get to you

I just want the stop the fighting 

Just stop its not

As big as your making it out to be

Don't you know the words are hurting me

There worse then those lines I could put on myself

I tell you  to stop but cant you 

just keep going

My Lily plant died

I had a peace lily plant a few years ago, just as I was doing my internship at Amicus Horizon.

We went on a house visit, and this ladies peace lily plant was huge, I am quite jealous.

It was a lovely plant and I will miss it dearly. Plants bring in oxygen to the household and also allow for good ventilation so you wont get mouldy ceilings.

Having a house plant is a good way of introducing responsibilities to children.

Maybe I will try again soon with a plant. I think I will grow outside plants.

Having a brother with Autism

As many of you may or may not know I have a brother who has autism
What is autism ? It is a lifelong condition, which effects the way he forms relationships and his communication skills.

He makes me want to cut my hair off and scream sometimes. As he is currently a pre teen , joking around. He does not understand emotions. So if your sad he will not understand.

But he is my guinea pig. I try to teach him writing, spelling, and cooking. I try to answer his questions as best I can.
I love him to bits, and hope when he is older he will be able to live life independently.

He really my super hero. Even with the hardships he has, he is one comical character and I wish the best for his life.
Much love
Shazida

I wish I was like you

I wish I was like you
Floating higher
I wonder what else floats
To quiet wonder
Undefined tranquility

Lesser known facts of Shaz

Hope you all are enjoying Good Friday.

Today I want to talk about the feelings of community I feel and would like to build a friendship with my Christian friends. 

I used to be in the choir at primary school. I totally loved singing the songs, although I was the only one in my class to go, sometimes I was forgotten but that is a different story. 

One hymn I specially like is Peas on Earth. I heard this in a primary school while doing litter angels workshops. I love the community feeling. 

That is one lesser known fact about me. I also can not ride a bike. Best get learning. 

Much Love and Peace

Shazida 

Plastic in the Arctic

Mummy mummy they found plastic in Arctic!

There is plastic in the shop windows,

Plastic hanging on the trees,

Plastic in all the gizmos and galore,

There is even plastic in mummy's tummy

Why on earth would you want the plastic in the ocean?


photo credit to www.firmm.org

If I was an animal I would be a bee

If I was an animal I would totally be a bee. They can fly with their big bodies and tiny wings, is not that amazing. I would also love being able to serve the queen bee. Every bee will have their duties and it will be a worthwhile cause making honey of course. Also I would be able to scare the human folk which would be great fun in summer months, if they don't kill you already that is.
There is also the fact they are yellow and black stripes which make them striking.
So that's me for today, oh if I could be a bee. I know its not an animal as such but Shhhh it still counts for me.

What animal would you want to be and why?

Working with Litter Angels

One of the greatest people I have ever met is Sioux Peto. She is one brilliant being!. I met her at a Sittingbourne festival called RE:BOURNE. I worked with her during Litter Angels workshops in schools. Much of these early experiences cemented my dissertation work on Children's perception of the environment. It also led me to be runner up of Swale Environmental Volunteer of the Year 2013

Always the interview never the job

Some of you who have left uni or looking for work while studying might find my experiences and tips useful.
Although getting the job is a whole different kettle of fish which I have not mastered yet, I hope my advise helps you in some way.

My first interview was with at Geography course. I prepared a mass of stuff about landforms and news items which did not come to use. The questions were pretty simple things, why I wanted to study geography and such. The one thing I remember is not know what the word cartography meant, I never asked him either as I was afraid to look stupid. He told me what sort of job I wanted I said a job in conservation.

I have to say one thing though if your thinking about going to university , make sure to pick a subject you are passionate about. Don't go to uni just to have letters before your name it wont be as rewarding. I loved studying Geography, it was most certainly the best years of my life.

The next interview I will talk about is Sports Direct. I got this interview by writing my skills I had picked up from Pulse Café. I also told them about the conservation work I did with Litter Angels, going into schools to teach kids about anti littering. The interviewer asked what job I would like to do and also what was my favourite volunteer placement. She also asked if I had done a paid job before I said no. Not much else I remember about this interview. I think I didn't get this job because I asked about wearing a hijab and the jobs uniform, or most likely it was that I said I had an essay to complete when I got home that day. Anyway best of luck if anyone has interview here.


The third interview is a Boots one. This is a rigorous online process, which by some miracle I passed.  The interview was to look for the cheapest pain killer, pack some bags for customers, give out shopping bags to customers and also tell them what was the changes I would make to the shop shelf. The questions were easy enough, I think it was just lack of experience and confidence which let me down in this interview.



The fourth interview was for Equality and Diversity officer at my university. This was a dragon dens type interview. This was a dreadful interview for me. I answered the questions well but when they asked who my hero was, I said my brother who has autism which then I started crying. How embarrassing is that? I got this interview because of my experience with working with a range of people mainly lecturers and students being a student representative. I also worked with BME kids in playschool role which cemented this interview for me.


My fifth interview is actually many TA interviews I have had which I have decided to bunch together. I was able to receive this interview because of my volunteering experiences with children and my passion to get the next generation to be good citizens. Also I did my dissertation on children's perception of the environment.  The interviews where always done my two or more people. They ask questions such as how does a school keep children safe? What would you do to if a child said they were being bullied? and how will you encourage children to do their work?

My sixth interview was for a community development role. I got this role because of my many hours of volunteering with the community. I won runner up Swale Environmental of the Year 2013. I was also the volunteer assistant at my university, encouraging students into volunteerism.
The interview was very role directed, they didn't ask my strength's or weaknesses. They asked about what I would do in the first three months of my position. I didn't get this role as I lacked bid writing experience which is very unfortunate.

I hope I have helped some people in landing an interview. Its key to be part of a society or volunteer while at university. Make the most of the resources available to you, Just as I did. You will get a job in no time. I currently have work as a Supply Teaching Assistant while I find other work :)

Peace be with you ! Shazida

Cold in blean woods

I visited Blean woods with a couple of friends for an assignment. This trip was centred around the Great Storm of 1987. This was when there was a strong gust of wind, which created much menace. It caused major destruction and many trees fell down. Many of these fallen trees can still be seen in the landscape today.
One memorable part of the day was when we sang a song to get us through it.
I can feel it in my fingers I can feel it my toes, we found this very funny.

I miss those old days. Maybe one day we will go back.

tree planting

Today I write about tree planting. Most of my blog I will be reflecting on my past experiences as a university student. As they say it's the best years of your life and this is certainly true for me. I have met some great and wonderful people while going on volunteering events.

This event was a tree planting session at RSPCA Hersdon. We planted hawthorn, dog weed and one other plant which I can't remember the name of. The trees were planted to provide a fence surrounding the area. We also were able to see the cats there. I would recommend anyone to plant trees as it is very rewarding experience.

Fresh start and career searching

As many of you may know I have been very poorly. But I have managed to overcome my setbacks and graduate from uni.
I have decided to write my blog from afresh. I hope you guys enjoy my anecdotes.

Much love
Shaz